I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
