I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
