I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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