did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
