I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
