Dual....:-)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
