My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
