Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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