Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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