If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
