I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
