I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
