I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
