Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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