I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
