Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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