I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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