Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
