It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
