dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
