I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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