Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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