I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
