it hurts more in the daytime
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
cat food counts as protein by the way
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
