video games are the ultimate cock blocker
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
