I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It was confusing and full of hummus
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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