I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
