there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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