i need an iv and a liver transplant
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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