Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
