HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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