just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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