she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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