I am puke
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So apparently I’m into choking now
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
