did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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