Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
