I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
