sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
