so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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