what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Couch. On fire.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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