That's intense
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
