Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
