have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
