I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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