Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
