yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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