How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
