they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
