Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
