And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
